by Mike Welsh
I did something in a dream last night I’ve never done before; not even as a child. Not even in a dream. I rode a skateboard. What’s so special about that? Well with the grace and ease only an older man cognisant of the sobering fact he couldn’t ride a skateboard because he never had, there I was actually doing it…riding a skateboard. Not arrogantly or stupidly, no grinding or kick flipping, not a backside or frontside in sight. Carving and cruising my way down a surprisingly empty and familiar suburban street with the wind in my hair. Strange how the reality of baldness doesn’t rear its ugly head in dreams. Although at the same time slightly miffed (a word I only use in dreams) for not having taken up skateboarding years ago.
Given the dangerous means of my transport through this pleasant dream, you’d expect a savage and shuddering return to reality around about now. Possibly a sickening thud from a collision with another vehicle or a tree I didn’t see. But I’m enjoying this way too much; dream on. Why open the door to reality and cop a blast of the cold, harsh reality air which would undoubtedly rush into your dream and crush a special moment. As I recall the dream ended without incident. But that’s the thing.
There are people who, for a buck or two, can explain your dreams. These Charlatans claim you must write down everything you can about your dream as soon as you can. But who can remember to do that. Not exactly an exact science. Anyway most people who dream, dream dreams that are the same. Falling, running, naked in public, teeth falling out and being lost are considered to be the Top 5 dream themes.
The details of my subconscious suburban skateboarding safari may be a little sketchy today but the lingering and pleasant memory is of actually riding a skateboard. Why?
For $24,99 you can buy “A-Z Dreams Dictionary” a book which is “ dedicated to help you find the key to unlocking and interpreting the meanings to your dreams” It also guarantees you will “understand your dreams and gain a clearer view on your personal relationships, through an uncensored view of your real feelings and a better perspective on life issues”. All very well if you are prepared to swallow all that.
It’s one thing to see a horror movie and then have nightmares for a week after. Or if you are heavily weighed down by what you have to do tomorrow, you may dream weird stuff associated with that. I know if you dream of spiders and snakes you are normal and if your dreams are filled with champagne flutes it might mean you have a slight drinking problem. But to be able to predict the future in your dreams is something else.
That’s why, on the strength of my skateboarding dream last night, I’m beginning to wonder if I may be some sort of a Soothsayer or dream interpreter myself. Not up there with the likes of old mate Joseph, he of the “amazing technicolour dream coat”, but enough to set up shop as a Seer.
I read today about the spike in the numbers of patients presenting to Emergency Rooms at Christmas after indulging in too much drugs, alcohol and food. And, spookily, middle-aged men who, under the influence of xmas cheer, who attempt to ride their kid’s toys such as skateboards and get injured.
I seem to recall back in the day (when I didn’t ride a skateboard) a spike in the stats on Christmas Day ER admissions by middle- aged men “loosened up” on booze deciding to have a go at the trampoline and ending up injured.
Was it a seasonal thing? Was that playing on my mind? Christmas Day and drunken middle aged men with no dexterity or brains deluded into having a crack at the skateboard instead of the trampoline?
Was my skateboard dream a prediction or warning? Do I have a special gift which must only be used for good? Should I write a book which helps you unravel your dreams and helps me make a bucket of money? Or am I dreamin’?