Hell Toupee for Cameron Diaz after pubic hair comments..

What do Leonardo De Caprio and Cameron Diaz have in common?

Female pubic hair.

Apparently Ms Diaz  favours the natural look and recently suggested that trying to get rid of one’s pubic hair “is like saying ‘I don’t need my nose’. While Cameron’s controversial comments have cast something of a five o’clock shadow over the downy debate, Leonardo’s character also touches on the topic albeit a tad more tenderly, as tenderly as a Wall Street cowboy can touch on the topic of pubic hair, in the latest Martin Scorsese  movie. Combine that to recent media frenzy over a US frock shop which reportedly adorns its shop mannequins with a lush patch of pubic hair, and that little blue bird of tappy-ness is positively bristling.

From what I can hear, from a diplomatic distant vantage point, the mere mention of this once “unmentionable” has ladies from both camps in a foaming lather.

There have been only a few rare occasions on which I had to cross the “bikini line”. Once when I wondered where “the Brazilian”, the name for the shave “down there”, originated but beyond that I have rarely needed to ponder the plot… thickening or thinning story.

I reasoned it had something to do with the association between the alarming rate of the clearing of Brazilian rain forests and the demand for a personal  “clear felling “. Turns out it just a name among many for a new trend in body care along with “the butterfly”, “the cricket pitch” and the fashionable sounding “Hollywood”  (also known as ‘sphinx’) where the pubic hair is completely zapped.

Males are often cast as the villain in this shave or save saga. One argument lays the blame at the feet of pornography. The reason for shaving pubic hair today, for both sexes, is apparently driven by the effect of the porn industry and its influence on mainstream media. Therefore it becomes normal. Society again becomes conditioned to a concept which was once an unmentionable.

I did have a “close shave” though a few years back when I read a book by Jacinta Tynan,”Good Man Hunting” which detailed her “napalming the nether regions”. But that was research for the radio interview I did with the talented Ms Tynan and I don’t recall us ever reaching the point of “over sharing” during our in-studio chat.

I have always liked the old Bush Junior gag.. George asked his advisors how many Brazilians it took to make a Gazillion Trillion.

In “The Wolf of Wall Street” the bush debate between father and son continues. Leo’s character, Jordan Belfort, chats with his father Max, played by Rob Reiner, about the issue of bush v no bush. You’ll have to see the movie for the more colourful and detailed exchange. A billiard ball was mentioned if I recall correctly. Suffice to say the uncomfortable exchange between on screen father and son is instructive from a contemporary viewpoint if nothing else. The elder man admitting to be a bush man while his son favours the clean shave. It was indeed a whole new world the old man wearily conceded.

The day after I watched Marty’s latest hit movie I became reluctantly entangled again in the female pubic hair issue over coffee. One bright and opinionated young lady, a beauty consultant, not wishing to split hairs, laid out her credentials right off the bat with “’I’ve seen more female pubic hair than most people” . Too true. Occupational hazard?.

Another angle here is the list of euphemisms commonly employed to refer to “down there”. Could be very confusing for some sections of a sheltered society, especially those from the authentic “down there”, the Tasmanians.

They may take further umbrage over the worn-out and smutty reference to the similarities between the mid region of the female form and their island state, formerly known as Van Diemen’s Land. It would be very distressing to the locals in Tassie if the twitter sphere referred to “down there” as VD land.  And I can’t help but wonder what those teaching nuns in Tassie all those years ago would have made of this debate. They comprehensively filled many a generation of Catholic girls’ heads with vague details of the dangers awaiting them on public lavatory seats. How would they have faced this contemporary body care crisis facing the young women in their charge?

Don’t suppose a movie about pubic hair starring the above mentioned pair called “There’s something about Hairy” will be the stand out pic at the Oscars around this time in 2016.

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