As Sure As Duck Egg Blue

billtommy Waterhouse

You know the Spring Racing carnival is looming when the corporate Duck Egg Blue of Tom Waterhouse invades the flat screen featuring your favourite footy finals.
The habitually ubiquitous “boy bagman” Waterhouse seemingly becomes ceaselessly so during the season which climaxes with a nation stopping two mile horse race early in November.
However this Spring the Television Tom Toms are tapping out a new message chock-a-block with the usual empty, pithy advertising agency clichés but squarely aimed at a fresh new bunch of suckers/ punters. A cashed up bunch of young professionals who are bored with splashing their hard-earned on parties and fashion are being groomed by Tom to toss some his way.
That new message is …This Is Betting Now (TIBN). Going For Better (GFB) Taking On Tom (TOT). WTF??
Waterhouse, whom we were assured, after flogging his operation to William Hill and anointed Australian CEO , would take a backseat possibly as a result of a powerful punter (average not actual) backlash , continues to boldly expound the virtues of BETTERMENT. Dressing BETTER, Partying BETTER, Loving BETTER and wait for it, PUNTING better. Betterment is defined as advancement, improvement, benefit or progress which begs the obvious question. The answer is always Tom Waterhouse the bookie.

This new demographic which pushes the limits, works crazy hours, parties, loves and laughs apparently is not prepared to accept less. It’s a rich vein unearthed by focus groups which Tom wants to tap into. But can he persuade this mob to cheerfully deposit a large dollop of their fat disposable into his bag? He’s inventive if nothing else. As a bonus Young Tom, god bless him, offers to mentor them in Better punting. He wants to educate them in the Winning way. Which would be the Waterhouse Way. Punt Better!!. Punt better than whom?. All the suckers who’ve came before know just as the Waterhouse forebears know….Bookies win Punters lose.

I’ve dedicated the better part of my life futilely trying to punt BETTER, but for better or worse, almost always worse, I failed. Why? Because the bookies win punters lose.

Betting Betterment does not enter into it. Reality is ,Tom’s turnover is under serious threat from a brash bookie from the streets. Ladbroke’s loud lager lout is testing Tom’s classy corporate approach with a common approach and is clearly making inroads into Tom’s once exclusive hold on the Australian punters purse.

Terrific Tom might have transformed the punt from his Grandaddy’s sachel to a smartphone but, in order for his bookmaking family to win, as it always does, punters must lose.
This used to be the tip fathers gave their sons as they set out into the wide world….…..”Stay away from Whorehouses, Shithouses and Waterhouses”.

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