Why “Chilled” Bill is Still Tony’s Bunnie

By Mike Welsh


Back in the day when a racing greyhound lost its passion for chasing the mechanical bunny or lure there were a few options.  If the first failed to achieve the desired result there was only one “practical” option left.  Both were extremely cruel and illegal but deemed necessary for success.  A bit like politics.

I’ll spare you the brutal details of options A and B but let’s just say  there aren’t  too many “retired” greyhounds happy gambolling with humans across the local doggie park.

Despite what the polls say…Opposition leader Bill Shorten desperately needs a something akin to the heartless and inhumane method once used to reinvigorate a greyhound’s desire to focus on the prize.

With the conservative media falling over itself to deliver a benevolent  slap to the back of the head or a nurturing knee to the groin of a cowering Prime Minster, “Chilled” Bill simply either agrees with Tony Abbott or attempts some intellectual/smart-arse comment which evaporates within seconds .

Batches of promises  broken, barnacles the size of Bertha’s butt on it’s butt, bungling ministers abounding and poll numbers further around the S bend than the “unflushable turd” John Howard’s year one result, yet Bill Shorten has not laid a glove on Tony Abbott.

When, if not now, would be the right time to have a lash, Bill?

Such is the electorate’s aversion for Tony Abbott; it hasn’t yet noticed Bill Shorten is not even in the race let alone bereft of the necessary mongrel to chase the lure/prize.

Is it possible Bill has sussed the lure is not a real bunny but simply a mechanical device with a rabbit skin covering it?

Or it’s possible he accepts the Labour party “certainty” of being “scratched” mid race and sees little point of chasing the prize when he’ll never get the chance to savour it?

For a while I was prepared to accept the “Chilled”  Bill line of attack was a clever strategy. A ploy to lull Tony Abbott into a false sense of having already “done in” another Labour leader.

Convince Tony he already he had his “bunnie” in Bill and all he needed to do is polish his bootlicking techniques to sooth the conservative media pack and he’ll be ok..until Bill is replaced.

Apparently politics is all about perception and the perception is Bill stands for nothing. He started with nothing, has done nothing in 14 months in the job and continues to stand for nothing.

Paradoxically at the beginning of his Labour leadership, Bill bravely spat that he would never be as “relentlessly negative” as Tony Abbott.

The past 12 months may have been “ragged” for Tony Abbott but at least he already has his Bunny,Bill Shorten..

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