Apples and Grapes

By Tim Vanderkleij

This poem was written a few years ago, when Michael McCormack urged then PM Tony Abbott to go where real people are. Michael said they go to Grong Grong Hotel. He didn’t go much on Latte people and that led me to write this poem. These two type of Australians don’t get along. Michael McCormack was the Census Minister at the time. 

A Lamentation of Real People; Apples and Grapes:

New York is the big apple

Batlow is home of the real apple

It is a pity that I can’t find Bonza apples anymore

Maybe I’ll try to get one at the Grong Grong Hotel

That is where the real people are

Michael McCormack, a politician said so last year

This year he also talked about Chiko Rolls

Which I wouldn’t eat anymore,

Although I could manage to eat a Meat Dim Sim

Better still a Bonza apple would always do

And if my hunch is right,

The Latte sipping classes might know where there are some

Or the Bureau of Statistics, as they do the Census

Should I be lucky, these statisticians could tell me where Waltham Grapes can be bought,

They used to grow them in the MIA, near Grong Grong where the real people are

This lack of good grapes and apples has led me to daydream sometimes,

One of these dreams ended awfully, I was invited to a dance by an attractive woman in a red dress

However, we didn’t dance because she had bunions

Maybe that is why NRMA (Nothing Really Matters Anymore) to real or surreal (latte) people.