By Tim Vanderkleij
This poem was written a few years ago, when Michael McCormack urged then PM Tony Abbott to go where real people are. Michael said they go to Grong Grong Hotel. He didn’t go much on Latte people and that led me to write this poem. These two type of Australians don’t get along. Michael McCormack was the Census Minister at the time.
A Lamentation of Real People; Apples and Grapes:
New York is the big apple
Batlow is home of the real apple
It is a pity that I can’t find Bonza apples anymore
Maybe I’ll try to get one at the Grong Grong Hotel
That is where the real people are
Michael McCormack, a politician said so last year
This year he also talked about Chiko Rolls
Which I wouldn’t eat anymore,
Although I could manage to eat a Meat Dim Sim
Better still a Bonza apple would always do
And if my hunch is right,
The Latte sipping classes might know where there are some
Or the Bureau of Statistics, as they do the Census
Should I be lucky, these statisticians could tell me where Waltham Grapes can be bought,
They used to grow them in the MIA, near Grong Grong where the real people are
This lack of good grapes and apples has led me to daydream sometimes,
One of these dreams ended awfully, I was invited to a dance by an attractive woman in a red dress
However, we didn’t dance because she had bunions
Maybe that is why NRMA (Nothing Really Matters Anymore) to real or surreal (latte) people.