HAPPY NEW EAR BASHING FROM 2GB

 

The last time I heard the word emasculated in a radio station was over 30 years ago. And I had to consult a dictionary. An enterprising PD (Program Director for Millenials) at the then chronically under-resourced 7AD Devonport swapped some unwanted record stock for a record player for the station’s library. But when the branded vinyl began popping up at a second hand store a member of the family which owned the network was most unimpressed with the “emasculation” of the station’s music library.

 

 

According to a few industry experts the once rightwing Sydney based broadcasting powerhouse 2GB has also been emasculated. But the alleged neutering is not in the station’s record library. It’s its raison d’etre , its talkers.

2GB, now part of the rebranded Nine media family which includes the perennial Melbourne ratings dominator 3AW, has apparently become burdened by the weight of relentless rightwing ranting, to the extent that the new owners are ‘re-positioning’ the station in order to attract a younger female audience.

Recovering night-time rightwing ranter/infomercial wizard Steve Price, who recently replaced the punted afternoon lightweight loudmouth Chris Smith, was quickly punted himself. Price is to be replaced in 2020 by Deb Knight, freshly punted herself from Nine’s Today breakfast TV settee.

A meme from social media

Meanwhile, down south at 3AW the inoffensive former Young Talent Timer Denis Walter was “reclocated” from his longtime afternoon slot to nights to make way for another female presenter Dee Dee Dunleavy in 2020.

 

Will the “emasculation” of commercial talk radio be successful? Not at 2GB at least and 3AW is a vastly different beast. As different to 2GB as Melbourne is to Sydney.

One longtime Sydney talk radio insider is not optimistic about ratings sucess with the new touch, suggesting “nice doesn’t get numbers “.

People listen to 2GB for the hate it radiates. Melbournians have been accustomed to 3AW’s balanced, intelligent and quality talk back broadcasting for decades and don’t seem to have a problem with “ladies” on the wireless.

Already 2GB’s Ray Hadley, diligently striving to project himself as a softer, kinder human being after one too many bullying incidents, is losing audience share. The former racecaller ended 2018 with a healthy 17.9% share of the Sydney mob. But ended this year with a much softer 13.8%.

And the unchallenged headmaster of the school of shockjocks Alan Jones spent most of 2019 witnessing his once almost 20% audience share vapourise. He also has the humiliating, for him, “one more slip of your acid tongue and you’re out” caveat hanging over his head.

 

While 3AW’s numbers appear to be stable, putting a stockinged ‘sock in it’ at 2GB is going to be problematic and radically recalibrating the right wing ranting richter scale will be tricky.

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CITY NEWS NOV 22

ONE solitary rainbow roundabout in a city of roundabouts is nothing more than a lonely landmark. That’s according to spokesperson for BURT (Braddon United Retailers and Traders) Kel Watt.

A year on from the “Yes” marriage equality postal survey, Watt says: “There are multiple roundabouts in Braddon, with two less than 100 metres from the Rainbow Roundabout” that “could also become symbols of adversity, challenges and triumphs for other causes”. 

The BURT mouthpiece says rather than being the “butt of jokes by the rest of the country” Braddon’s roundabouts could become “celebrated icons”.

PENIS-owl envy is alive and well in the world of controversial public art. Seems Belconnen’s owl, the one that apparently looks like a penis, may have a doppelganger. Pictures have popped up on social media of a piece of public art recently unveiled in the northern Serbian town of Kikinda, prompting many “eagle eyed” Canberrans to make a comparison between it and the phallic structure standing proud at the end of Benjamin Way.
SOME Canberra Liberals are seriously questioning Zed Seselja’s political judgement with the ACT senator inviting former PM Tony Abbott to an upcoming fundraiser. For $150 a head ($60 for members) supporters can enjoy drinks and canapes with the member for Warringah at Menzies House in Barton, Tuesday, November 27. Senior Liberal and longtime Abbott pal Michael Yabsley recently said: “The Liberal Party’s healing process would be accelerated if Tony Abbott were to vacate”.

PRIME Minister Scott Morrison’s recent Queensland bus tour seems to have unleashed his inner Trump. ScoMo’s constant negative reference to the “Canberra bubble” has the US President’s “drain the swamp” written all over it. Morrison’s double thumbs up gesture and glib and dismissive responses to journalists’ questions are also more than a little Trumplike. But the real test for the born-again bonza bloke from the Shire will be ockerising his dog whistling on immigration policy borrowing the Don’s “we have some bad hombres here and we are gonna get them out”.


FOR those struggling with the precise parameters of the “Canberra bubble”, Canberra freelance writer Angela Shanahan has made the task more difficult. In a piece in “The Australian” on the territory’s eliminating legal exemptions to the anti-discrimination laws pertaining to freedom of religion, Shanahan accuses the Barr government of “living in a world of their own” referring to the ACT as a “little socialist republic”. Given the size of the territory and Angela’s special insight into the “bubble”, is it too much to ask she shed light on where the “world of their own” ends and the “bubble” begins?


Alan Jones’ loyal Canberra listeners have been forced to wait to see any change to his presentation. The man they call “the parrot” reportedly had his wings clipped by management for a number of on-air indiscretions but has been forced off-air with a bad back. The 78-year-old, syndicated through 2CC, was apparently in strife for, among other “sins”, uttering the “N” word, being found guilty of defaming three Queensland brothers at a cost of $3.7 million and for his ungentlemanly conduct during a recent interview with Opera House CEO Louise Herron. Speculation among Sydney radio types is that with the Nine/Fairfax merger (which includes 2GB) kicking in soon, Jones’ long-term future is unclear.

Loneliness is an unloved Airbike on a traffic island on Commonwealth Avenue. Photo by Mike Welsh

CANBERRA’S six-month trial of a dockless bike share is almost over and it appears Canberrans have treated the scheme with more respect than other jurisdictions. While there is no evidence of Airbike bikes finishing up in lakes, many are drifting outside the “dedicated bike parking zones” and slipping under the “geo-fencing technologies”. One bike spent days leaning outside the public toilets at O’Connor shops, another was spotted parked on a traffic island on Commonwealth Avenue and a third has been buried in a hedge near Black Mountain School for most of the past two weeks.

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Memo to Alan Jones and Ray Hadley and Tony Abbott. LISTEN and LEARN

By Mike Welsh tone 5 A “rusted on” Liberal party supporter called the open line of Neil Mitchell’s radio program on Melbourne’s 3AW today. “Andrew” offered a sage piece of advice to Neil’s studio guest, Prime Minister Tony Abbott. However, unlike the limp-wristed “critiques” handed out recently by Mitchell’s Sydney talkback colleagues, Alan Jones and Ray Hadley, Melbourne caller “Andrew” delivered his Prime Ministerial missive with the precision of a surgeon and the skill and pain of a beach-towel flick to the testicles.

I’m a Liberal voter through and through but I’ve got to be got to be honest and truthful with you, Mr Prime Minster, you’re on the nose with Liberal voters and that’s a real concern to me because I don’t want to see you give the keys to Bill Shorten at the Lodge. I have got to tell you you are the world’s worst salesman, Prime Minister”…. Andrew 3AW caller

Headmaster Jones put him “on notice” over his lacklustre performance and the Greyhound race-caller Hadley marked Tony Abbott’s report card down to a D minus, but both broadsides were no more than clouds of hysterical dust which quickly vanished. ray an alan Andrew’s articulate and concise appraisal of Abbott will hang in the electoral ether for much longer and do more damage. Andrew’s perceptive on-air judgment of Abbott’s sales performance says much about those who listen to Mitchell, and the blind followers who listen to the Talkback Titans.  While former newspaper man Mitchell is bland and measured, he has dominated the Melbourne radio market for almost three decades.  And despite the hype surrounding the conservatives Jones and Hadley, basically thanks to their programs networked to Colac, Cooma and Coonabarabran, Mitchell is considered by astute judges as consistently a better practitioner of the art of Talkback radio. mitchell While Jones and Hadley don’t listen and learn, on the off chance Tony Abbott failed to heed Andrew’s message I humbly made a few suggestions on how he may have approached his toxic talkback caller, on my “boutique” radio program on 2HC in Coffs Harbour

Swimming Between the Flags at Cronulla

flags #3By Mike Welsh I had no say what so ever in my conception and birth, nor in that of our nation but I’ve always felt special to have been born on January 26. A birthday I proudly share with the late actors Paul Newman and Eartha Kitt, WW 11 hero, Gen. Douglas MacArthur and a bunch of Australian Test cricketers including ex skipper, Kim Hughes, with whom I share the same birth date, Jan 26 1954. Traditionally not a red-letter date such as Dec 25 or New Year’s Eve, but Jan 26 is still a momentous day, and one which would be difficult to forget, especially if it was your birthday. Yet back in the day I actually spent most of one birthday, blissfully unaware of its importance. The penny dropped when our GG came on the radio to deliver his Australia Day address. But it was too late. Fifteen hours of my birthday had already disappeared.  How could I forget my birthday? How could I forget Australia Day? These days I would have been primed for the big event weeks in advance thanks to Australian flags fluttering from all points of all manner of vehicles in traffic and the ubiquitous TV commercials warning of a tsunami of beer, BBQs and backyard cricket bashes. kekka My birthday has not only been comprehensively commercialized by “slammin” Sam Kekovich but it has morphed into a dangerously jingoistic mentality of… “If you don’t eat lamb or drape the flag you are unAustralian”. A surprisingly articulate, fat, former full forward  succinctly “taking the piss” out of vegans has, sadly  become as familiar in January  as the flag flogging  racists who first poked their  ignorant and shockjock tutored heads over our backyard fences on Australia Day 2005 at Cronulla. The day the fuse for the December 11 2005 explosion was lit which gave birth to the “Cronulla Cape” (a term coined for mindless drunken Bogans who drape their naked upper bodies in the Australian flag). An Australian stand-up comedian described Australia Day to a group of international tourists thus… “the day Aussies get drunk and racist” and academics decided to drill into the causes and consequences of Cronulla. A “loose” University of W.A. study on Flag Waving V Non Flag Waving, found racism embedded in the Flag wavers. The team discovered that most of the 513 people surveyed from several hundred thousand gathered to watch a fireworks display, were fearful of losing their identity. One in five said they had attached flags to their cars. While the study results were neither conclusive nor solid, the basic inference was, “those who are flying flags on their cars do express more racist opinions with 43 per cent convinced that the now defunct White Australia Policy had saved Australia from problems that other countries had experienced”. flags #2 I love Australia Day and most of what goes with it. I don’t have a problem with a brewery promotion of an Aussie flag for your car when you buy a “slab” of beer, but the “FUCK OFF WE’RE FULL” stickers I find  highly offensive. Australia Day is my birthday but I don’t have to swim between the racist flags fluttering at Cronulla.

No Prime Minister You Can Not Sell The farm

By Mike Welsh

AJ 2

On Monday, sandwiched skilfully and diplomatically between a leisurely lycra clad 30k post G 20 bike ride and “inking” a big fat, billion dollar free trade deal with our new bestie, the Chinese, Prime Minister Tony Abbott answered the summons. The order had come down from on high, the headmaster’s office, and was laced with a “please explain” to and “take instruction” from the man who thinks he runs the joint, Alan Jones.

How many Prime Ministers in the afterglow of a highly successful hosting of World leaders, and with a Oxford Blue in boxing, would not only make time for an hysterical radio announcer but meekly cop the frenzied on air “dressing down” Alan Jones delivered..

Why does tough-guy Tony, prepared to shirtfront even tougher tough-guy Putin, become a girl’s blouse in the presence of Alan Jones?

Jones’ seething interrogation of a democratically elected Prime Minister not only contained very clear directives but supplied the PM’s responses for him.

“Could Tony Abbott buy a farm in China, no he could not”

The tub thumping talkback host accused the PM “failing the pub test” on the free trade agreement with China.

Jones accused Abbott of selling the impoverished  family’s cow for a handful of magic beans.

Jones can mince all the words he wants but this spat was sparked by his own intense insecurity. A self-doubt which has driven him to lofty heights and laughable lows.

AJ 1

Jones is in the habit of waxing lyrical over the depression era circumstances under which  his farmer father was dragged up. “He had no education no job no parents, a hell of a trifecta”. He speaks misty eyed of drinking from the well his father dug.

But on Monday Jones was mightily miffed. Miffed because the man he manufactured with his own dirt poor hands had spent the weekend swanning clumsily (if that’s possible) around in a spotlight he didn’t belong in.

“It should have been me” Alan silently sang.

Abbott had to be brought down a peg. He had become too big for his boots. This is the Jones’ MO.

Under the flag waving hand on heart guise of not selling the farm to foreigners the boy from humble beginnings was reminding not only Tony Abbott but the rest of the mob just who runs the joint.

The Day Ray Hadley Dropped My Name, Completely

By Mike Welsh 
 
If anyone wanted further proof that broadcaster Ray Hadley is more than slightly sensitive and extremely childish…this is from 2014

KONICA MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERA

Driving home from an early morning jog around Lake Burley Griffin on a mild May morning in 2012, A.M Radio activated, 9 am news done and dusted and the banjo intro theme fading.. Raymond Morris Hadley OAM proceeded to “rip me a new one”…deluxe. I’d been pre- warned a severe slap was on its way but I was totally unprepared for the childish “mine is bigger than yours” outburst which was delivered to the hundreds of thousands of listeners tuned to the scores of radio stations which take his daily morning program. And the silly sausage forgot to mention my name. People in Bundaberg and Bendigo and Griffith and Goulburn are to this day  still none the wiser as to the identity of bollockee.
During seven minutes of the opening stanza of Ray’s nationally syndicated radio program I went from being…. “my old mate Welshy down there in Canberra” ….to…. “that bloke in the Afternoon on 2CC” . Ray Hadley had completely dropped my name.
We were certainly not “old mates”, we had met on half a dozen occasions (and spoken several times on my radio show) over a period of 12-15 years. We had several things on common; both born in 1954, a background in horse racing, the Macleay Valley (Kemspey) and 30 years in broadcasting but that’s where it ended.
My sin? The previous day I had the audacity to interview, on my program, the Independent member for Lyne, Rob Oakeshott. Without putting too fine a point on it Ray doesn’t like Rob Oakeshott and consequently anyone who does he doesn’t seem to like either. I have known Rob Oakeshott for as long as I’ve known Hadley. A decent, hardworking, intelligent and outstanding member for the electors of both Port Macquarie in the NSW Parliament and the Federal seat of Lyne he won in 2008 is how I often described the controversial former conservative on air. Which almost always garnered me the vilest responses from several anonymous cowards in the audience.
Reality is we didn’t mention Ray during our Drive chat. Rob referred to Sydney “shock-jocks” and their daily sermons on the evils of the man who made Julia Gillard Prime Minister but not Ray specifically.
That afternoon I did what all red blooded boys from the flint- hard North Launceston suburb of Mowbray do and got on the front foot. I wacked back. No backward steps were ever taken by Mowbray boys. If there were any bullies and cowards at Mowbray they found themselves another post code very quickly.
Word got back to Hadley which resulted in the following laughable, “mine is bigger than yours” email which was shoved  under my nose by my Program Director the following day.

“I copped another spray from your drive announcer yesterday……It’s very

simple…..Given he commands about 6.9% of the audience and I have from

memory, 12.4%, can you tug his coat please, otherwise he’ll cop both barrels to a

much larger audience, every day from here to eternity…” Ray Hadley

 

Frank Langella's book on the Famous folk..as he he knew them.
Frank Langella’s book on the Famous folk..as he he knew them.

I’ve often wondered just how Ray was going to successfully give it to me “both barrels to a much larger audience every day from here to eternity” without naming me. And pardon me for being a pedant but would that be the beginning of “eternity” or the end?
 
You would have to feel terribly sad for a man who has the world at his fingertips – Influence, success, power – yet allows a “sawn-off bodgie” (a former teacher’s assessment of me) from Mowbray with a bigmouth and an audience of 7 people, 2 cats and a ferret to get under his skin. 
At least Ray’s 2GB colleague, Chris Smith had the decency to name me when he was bagged me.